Peggy Fletcher Stack, Poll: Most Still Unsure about Mormons and Polygamy, The Salt Lake Tribune, September 12, 2011, accessed September 13, 2011, http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/52568348-78/mormon-mormons-polygamy-percent.html.csp. John the Baptist was a descendant of Aaron and as such, he held the keys of the Aaronic Priesthood. For this reason, they think that the unmarried would include both the widowed, the divorced and those who have never been married. To [Page 65]be fair, in the RS lesson this declaration evoked criticism and debate of a kind not often seen in RS.51. Another active Latter-day Saint responded: Are you suggesting that what is making you pleased is the denial of relationships in the Celestial Kingdom? For Latter-day Saint children of divorce, questions like this can add to the sadness and uncertainty that divorce brings. One convert, who joined at age 24, wasnt told about the Churchs polygamist past until after he was baptized. Dianne Chryst Ormond, It Started with Science, MormonThink.com, 2006, accessed October 15, 2011, http://mormonthink.com/itstartedwithscience.htm. Elder Baxter later served two years as a missionary in theScotland Edinburgh Mission and served as abishop, counselor in a stake presidency, stake president, counselor in a mission presidency, and as an Area Seventy. 1. . Clear editor. Steve Chapman, Kody Brown and His Four Wives, townhall.com, July 14, 2011, accessed July 14, 2011, http://townhall.com/columnists/stevechapman/2011/07/14/kody_brown_and_his_four_wives, and Brent Bozell, TLCs Lobbying Show, townhall.com, July 15, 2011, accessed July 15, 2011, http://townhall.com/columnists/brentbozell/2011/07/15/tlcs_lobbying_show/page/full/. Divorced men are welcome in the Church in the same manner as married men. Regular interaction with your children should remain a high priority, regardless of distance or remarriage. And when he was 15 years old, Elder Cook experienced something that would draw from both lessons. From the 1840s to the present, anti-Mormon literature has accused Church leaders and members of immorality and lasciviousness, [Page 48]with suggestions that Joseph Smith started plural marriage to cover-up his own adulterous affairs.6 The 1840s saw some early purveyors of the lustful and lascivious stereotype in the supposed insider exposs of John C. Bennett and the Van Dusens.7 Ironically, some of these clichd stereotypes are still being used today. i was having a discussion with a friend and he said one of the 12 apostles of the LDS church had been divorced, i told him from what i know about t For a more detailed discussion of anti-Mormon accusations and stereotyping, see Craig L. Foster, Victorian Pornographic Imagery in Anti-Mormon Literature, Journal of Mormon History 19/1 (Spring 1993): 11532; Old Themes and Stereotypes Never Die: The Unchanging Ways of Anti-Mormons, FAIR, 2003, accessed October 14, 2011, http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2003_Unchanging_Ways_of_Anti-Mormons.html, and Craig L. Foster, Penny Tracts and Polemics: A Critical Analysis of Anti-Mormon Pamphleteering in Great Britain, 18371860 (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2003). Not surprisingly, many members have believed these unfortunate and mostly false accusations and stereotyping, in no small part because some historians have repeated and embraced them uncritically.8, Joseph Smiths involvement in so-called polyandrous marriages added to the image of him as a man with unbridled lust. However, some participants didnt have that same support system from their church friends. For a discussion of Nauvoo Polygamy, see Craig L. Foster, Review of Nauvoo polygamy: but we call it celestial marriage, Mormon Historical Studies 11/1 (Spring 2010), 15558. Keith L. Brown is a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Copy in authors possession. When people learn gospel principles as children, they are able to grow in their understanding as they learn line upon line, precept upon precept.64 It should be the same regarding the Churchs history of plural marriage. 41. On a positive note, the LDS Church has recently taken a more active approach to interpreting and defining its polygamous past. I became a pariah. Fortunately, most former spouses learn to cooperate for the benefit of their children. That understanding will come through appropriate Church courses and Church literature. Those members of the church who are personally affected by the policy change and have questions are encouraged to talk to their local priesthood leaders," he said. I did know one who was released when he and his wife were separated. Copy in authors possession. Do they still classify unmarried men over the age of 25 as "menaces to society"? 69. Lets dive into the New Testament and see what we can learn about the efforts of the original apostles to maintain a full quorum. 68. Media Library. Conference Poster: The Generosity and Mercy of God, If my parents were sealed in the temple and then got divorced, which one am I sealed to? New Era, August 2015, 41. "When she tried to find the train, the train was gone with her four children in there.". All Rights Reserved, NEW POLICY ANNOUNCED FOR DIVORCED LDS MEN. Most recently, Rebecca Wall Jeffs Musser, a former plural wife of Rulon Jeffs, with the assistance of award-winning author M. Bridget Cook Burch, published The Witness Wore Red: The 19th Wife Who Brought Polygamous Cult Leaders to Justice.14 This is a fascinating account of her life within and eventual escape from the FLDS, a branch of the fundamentalist movement. 40. Many, when they saw me coming, would look the other way, one participant shared. Elder Quentin L. Cook said growing up he learned how to trust the Lord from his mother, Bernice Kimball Cook, and how to set and achieve goals from his father, J.Vernon Cook. Whether or not the particular suggestions in this essay are adopted, the goal of leaders and defenders of the Church should be to aim for a more knowledgeable membership who thereby exhibit less discomfort and embarrassment about the Churchs past relationship to plural marriage. Because of plural marriages inherent sexual implications, it is natural there would be some discomfort and embarrassment. After that, the practice again went underground and was once more surrounded by a veil of secrecy which made it even more difficult to completely stop.5, Unfortunately, the obfuscation which attended the beginning and end of the official practice of plural marriagenecessary though it wasprovided ammunition for anti-Mormons and anxiety for modern Church members. The ultimate purpose of all we teach is to unite parents and children in faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, that they are happy at home, sealed in an eternal marriage.1 In spite of this inspired teaching from President BoydK. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, divorces take place. 63. A few reasons suggest themselves: first, while 19th-century polygamy happened, it is, after all, in the past. 3. If you keep your covenants, your relationships in the next life will be fair and right. 59. In other words, you cannot be a bishop without the approval of the First Presidency. Men tend to be action oriented, so they may be less inclined to seek counseling and instead bury their feelings by working long hours or immersing themselves in a hobby. Unfortunately, many believe the lack of information in official Church publications about plural marriage is a form of cover-up. The commencement and particularly the end of plural marriage [Page 69]were fitful and certainly painful for those involved. They are subject to its penalties. We spoke for at least 45 minutes during which time I was very open and honest about aspects of plural marriage, including my own familys history. They interpret this lack of information as a species of lyingabout Joseph Smith, about other Church members polygamous past, or about the events which surrounded the cessation of Church-sanctioned plural marriage. 51. Questions & Answers: My parents were married in the temple, but now theyre divorced. Upload or insert images from URL. If only married Joseph Walker, Sarandon Calls Pope a Nazi, Maher Calls Mormonism Ridiculous, Deseret News, October 20, 2011, accessed October 21, 2011, https://www.deseret.com/2011/10/20/20224517/sarandon-calls-pope-a-nazi-maher-calls-mormonism-ridiculous. Unfortunately, George D. Smiths Nauvoo Polygamy appears to not only accept the idea that Joseph Smith was sexually involved with these women because parts of the book are reminiscent in language and imagery of early anti-Mormon exposs. There What applepansy said. That means the majority of adult Latter-day Saints both women and men are unmarried, widowed or divorced. apostle Gerrit Gong said Saturday morning. There is much to appreciate about the honesty and vulnerability of the responses that were shared. These are truly touching and delicate experiences that members of the Church endured as they divorced. You'll also like: How to Talk to Children About Temple Covenants After a Divorce They thanked me for being willing to so openly and comfortably talk about plural marriage. When children spend most of their time with their mother, it is easy for the father to feel like he has become a visitor to his own children. However, it is obvious more needs to be done to answer the questions and concerns of members of all ages. When he was 5 years old, Elder Baxter's mother and father divorced. Now, in a world-wide Church such as the LDS Church, not all members will have the same need for or interest in information about the Churchs polygamous past. Claire, e-mail correspondence, October 4, 2011. Polygamy in the Spotlight, e-mail correspondence, July 14, 2011. John Kitzmiller, personal interview, October 13, 2011. Even one soul lost over the now-unpracticed principle of plural marriage is too many. And modern Bible translations NIV, ESV, and CSB do not translate Malachi 2:16 as God saying I hate divorce. What percent of marriages end in divorce? While some periods of separation are longer and uglier than others, a finality is almost always achieved. In fact, some have left the Church specifically because of this issue. As one historian explained regarding the 20th-century Churchs approach to plural marriage: [Page 54]As time passed, fewer and fewer Mormons came to identify personally with polygamy. Unfortunately, over time there have been a number of members of the Church who have been upset and offended about aspects of plural marriage, especially the so-called weird aspects. Was the Apostle Paul married? I thought everyone knew that., I replied, They dont all have parents like you do. As with every gospel principle, the foundation needs to be laid in their childhood and then built upon in their youth with more information about the faith and sacrifices practicing plural marriage necessitated among the Saints, as well as the reasons for ending the practice. By This holds true whether they were married civilly or in a temple. Meet the Apostles. 20. Missionaries should learn more about the history of plural marriage and then mention this in a faithful way before converts baptisms. I asked my husband. Given the experiences that the participants had, they made recommendations to ward leaders, Stake leaders, fellow members, and ministering brothers and sisters on how to handle future divorcing members. 6. The Church, of course, has no jurisdiction whatever in this matter.26, LDS Apostle M. Russell Ballard stated in a Semiannual General Conference session, Let me state clearly that no polygamist group, including those calling themselves Fundamentalist Mormons or other derivatives of our name, have any affiliation whatsoever with The Church of Jesus Christ [Page 56]of Latter-day Saints.27 LDS Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland was even more outspoken in referencing the fundamentalists, We havent practiced polygamy for over a centuryand its a little frustrating to have these fundamentalist groups resurface.28, Discomfort about the Churchs polygamous past is particularly noticeable in Church-produced literature and at Church-owned historical sites. There were approximately 400 people who participated in the survey with an almost even mix of men and women.32, In spite of the limited number of respondents, there actually was a good variety of people from different ages and backgrounds in terms of marriage status and activity in the LDS Church. I never expected it, but it happened, and I accept it. Because of this widespread apostasy, the Lord withdrew the authority of the priesthood from the earth. I would imagine if a divorced man was called as Bishop that it would have had to be approvied by the First Presidency. Even more tragically, accidental discovery and/or inadequate teachings about the Churchs history and relationship to plural marriage have caused crises of faith which have alienated members of the Church and, in many cases, led to their eventual departure from the faith. And while such issues might be of little interest in one stake or ward, members in a neighboring stake or ward might be very interested or have a need for further teaching and explanation. These included the lying about plural marriage, the apparent polyandrous marriages of [Page 61]Joseph Smith, the teenage wives of Joseph Smith, and the idea that plural marriage will be practiced in the celestial kingdom. Josh Lockhart is a husband, father of two, and a Canadian Certified Counsellor based out of Kimberley, BC, Canada. Discovering the details of his polygamous practices was particularly distressing (polyandry, 14-year-old-wives, etc.). Although a strong marriage is the ideal, some marriages unfortunately end in divorce. Members were stung by the presence of those who had chosen to continue plural marriage outside of the Churchs control.3 This constant reminder to both members and the outside world has embarrassed and bothered Church officials and members alike. It is within this milieu of multifarious information and misinformation that modern members of the Church are placed. For example, they wanted to focus on home life or to take care of children. Unfortunately, she was not alone in being shocked to learn Joseph Smith had plural wives. Joseph Smiths marriages to teenagers have increasingly become a stumbling block to faithful members. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, August 11, 2011. A couple of years ago, I was talking with one of my daughters 16-year-old friends, a descendant of LDS polygamists, and mentioned Joseph Smiths plural wives. 46. This is sad because what someone going through a divorce needs the most is support from those around them. When he was 15 years old, Elder Baxter says he looked back on the challenges his family faced in his younger yearsalcoholism, divorce, povertyall of the things he couldn't change in his past and decided, "I will change the futurefor myself and for the children I will someday have. Bill Frost, Idaho Bans Ogdens Five Wives Vodka, City Weekly, May 29, 2013, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/blog-21-7669-idaho-bans-ogdens-five-wives-vodka.html. Beyond an overall dislike for plural marriage expressed by those who had negative views, there were several factors that seemed to particularly distress them. Web(Photo: KUTV) (KUTV) At least six people are suing the daughter and son-in-law of Russell M. Nelson, the president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 26. The LDS Church and its members must confront and accept not only its past but also the fact that the Church will probably forever be associated with polygamy. Church Participation. It was during WWII, and President Uchtdorf's family was no longer safe in Czechoslovakia. I thought everyone knew we no longer practice plural marriage, so I played along with him. This is, in part, because of the fitful, painful cessation of plural marriage and the ever present reminders of its complicated past. "The train stopped, my mother went out and tried to get food," President Uchtdorf told KUTV. Any righteous, willing, and worthy man may be bishop regardless of his marital status. This non-Mormon perception of Latter-day Saints is more prevalent than many members of the Church realize. 67. All of us know someone who has been divorced. 2. For examples of numerous press releases and public statements regarding past and modern plural marriage, see The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Newsroom: The Official Resource for News Media, Opinion Leaders and the Public, http://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/search-results.xqy?q=polygamy&x=0&y=0. At the 2011 FAIR Conference, Hudson gave a presentation describing plural marriage as an Abrahamic sacrifice, or an exception to Gods law rather than an eternal principle.52 Her conference presentation, titled A Reconciliation of Polygamy, was based on an earlier article of hers titled Polygamy. Hudson claimed that in the eternities we will have the privilege of living under the law, not the exception to the law.53 She further referred to the belief, which she felt was mostly held by male members of the Church, as nothing more than celestial lust.54 In her article, she also made comments regarding modern Latter-day Saint beliefs about the eternal nature of plural marriage: If cultural misinterpretations cause the women and men of the Church to mourn over polygamy, either because they mistakenly believe that God is indifferent between sacrifice and non-sacrifice and so no escape from this sacrifice will be provided by God or because they are led to believe that they are selfish and not [Page 66]righteous if they feel pain at the thought of polygamy, then these cultural interpretations are actively harming our people.

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