george carlin quotes on politics

I just dont have as many people who believe it. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of See more ideas about george carlin, carlin, quotes. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Police threw at him.If they were born a decade or two earlier, today's young "social revolutionaries" would've been Carlin fans. The planet is fine. ", "The owners of this country don't want that. "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is 56. George Carlin on the Church I have as much authority as the Pope. I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ~ (George Carlin). Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? 120. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Surround yourself with what you love. ~ (George Carlin). We are. ~ (George Carlin). We think in words. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. WebBest George Carlin Quotes 1. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. We dont have people like that in this country. Religion is like a pair of shoes. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. 22. What if I want to have a crappy day? ~ (George Carlin). 94. They're all in favor of the unborn. Tweet. Some national parks have long waiting lists for. The less said about it the better. ~ (George Carlin). 28. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). 8. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Love, was the kind of person you could hang out with and [], Slim and soft-spoken, endearingly warm and witty, with an enviable knack for captivating the interest of his audiences during his [], How can a sickly boy, suffering from asthma, rickets and rheumatic fever, transform himself into an accomplished gymnast, a wrestler [], With his simple, unpretentious writing style, characterized by an unfiltered, punchy honesty and violent and sexual imagery, Bukowski managed to [], Born in 1910 in Hall, Indiana, John Robert Wooden, aka the Wizard of Westwood, was an American basketball player and [], Short Funny George Carlin Quotes that will make you Laugh, Best George Carlin Quotes to make you Laugh and Think Out of the Box, Insightful George Carlin Quotes on Politics and Government, Inspirational George Carlin Quotes on Life, Society and People, Provocative George Carlin Quotes on Religion that will Remind you there is a Funny Side of God, 80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories, 60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride, 51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, 50 Harvey Milk Quotes To Help Us Never Silence Hope, 44 Astonishing Mary Astell Quotes that Spoke of Gender Equality Earlier Than You Think, 50 Unconventional Quotes From Future About Love And Life, 70 Pertinent James Madison Quotes That Can Still Inspire a Better State, 60 Powerful Led Zeppelin Quotes About Love, Life And Death, 65 Exceptional Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quotes About The Fight For Justice, 70 Ariana Grande Quotes That Will Inspire You And Make You Fall In Love, Best 90 George Orwell Quotes on the Danger of Oppression, 75 Jane Austen Quotes on the Truth of Love, The Best Eckhart Tolle Quotes About Now & Being, 70 Karl Marx Quotes to Form Conscience on Social Issues, 60+ Alexander The Great Quotes on the Idea of an Empire, 99 Leonardo Da Vinci Quotes About Knowledge, Art and Inspiration, 50+ Motivational Leo Buscaglia Quotes on Living and Learning, 100+ Yuval Noah Harari Quotes About the World Today, 70+ Joseph Pilates Quotes About the Pilates Method and Your Bodys Potential, 66 Gritty Charles Bukowski Quotes for Restless Souls, 110 John Wooden Quotes to Help You Coach Yourself. 12. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. ~ (George Carlin). There are no innocent human beings. ~ (George Carlin). 34. 110. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. 33. Deal with it. The people are fucked. Heres all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. 84. We get what we deserve. This is what we have to offer. 45. 98. Laugh until you gasp for breath. 119. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. I don't trust none of them. He joked about it but he was dead serious. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. An early crusader against academic fascism, George Carlin fought political correctness long before it took root, foreseeing its regressive tendencies and propensity to become neo-puritanism.For decades, progressives and liberals resonated with Carlin--they were his base. No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. ~ (George Carlin). He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. 79. 24. Indeed, George Carlin was in a class of his own, however this would only be half the story. To change your comments display name, click here. Web#1 Dont just teach your children to read. ", If you can't beat them, arrange to havethem beaten., Laugh often, long, and loud. 99. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. 71. An outsider: someone not part of the group. ', 'The planet is fine. ", "Did you ever notice who it is? What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. Born in New York in 1937, George Carlin was an American comic icon, actor, social critic, and author. Several reasons. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). 114. And armbands. First Words (@unscriptedmike) May 18, 2022, George Carlin said "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. They'll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? 113. 44. People are wonderful. 58. The new kid in a high school with a thousand other teenagers. In Carlin's day, the troglodyte hardline evangelic conservative always tried to rule society's language and morality with an iron fist. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. ~ (George Carlin). Why isn't selling fucking legal?". Everybody says they suck. Hes not a cheese. Theres no present. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Some people see the glass half full. "In America, anyone can become president. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time. ~ (George Carlin). They should be giving their money to you. The people are fucked.. 32. Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. Fortunately, fans of Carlin are not easily persuaded that everything must align with partisan preference. Never argue with an idiot. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. I consider them to be symbols and I leave symbols to the symbol minded. ~ (George Carlin). Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. 121. Lean and mean! The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ", "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to haveselfish, ignorant leaders. 63. Yes, it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation." What's the fucking mystery? If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles. ~ (George Carlin). Somebodys wasting their fucking time. The poor are therejust to scare the shit out of the middle class. 6. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Maybe this time itll work. I have as much authority as the Pope. If God created everything, hes got a serious quality control problem. ~ (George Carlin). Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. Nobody owns anything. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? 78. ", I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ~ (George Carlin). Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. He described himself thus: "Im a rude dude, but Im the real deal. Cocked, locked, and ready-to-rock. 1. It will not be with jack-boots. Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. ~ (George Carlin). However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. ~ (George Carlin). If not, no matter." Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. 25. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ~ (George Carlin). What do dogs do on their day off? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. The [], Characterized by a direct and lucid prose, uncluttered from literary devices that seek to please or entertain, George Orwell, was [], How many possible words and phrases are there to express love and romance? Then they think you are just fine, just what they've been looking for. Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ~ (George Carlin). I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. I just dont have as many people who believe it. ~ (George Carlin). I have as much authority as the Pope. Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. 46. Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. It's impressive that a comedian delivered some of the most thought-provoking and intellectual content ever. The challenge is to find it. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. It creates a hostile work environment. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ~ (George Carlin).

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